Timeline Test (cool thing)

At the Edge of the Darkness

These past few weeks I've been feeling like I'm very close to the Dark Sea of Darkness (which phrase I will use because I am reading Andrew Peterson's fabulous books The Wingfeather Series to my 8 year old son. I highly recommend it to everyone!!!).
http://wingfeathersaga.com/?page_id=26


Allie, the talented and creative and flammable author and illustrator of "hyperbole and a half" describes depression so well, I'll just direct you to her blog.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
To use Allie's metaphor, my fish are seriously sick.

My sweet Jesus is giving me direction, and I'm so glad I can see it!

Stasi Eldredge had a post on her blog titled "Intentional Rest"
http://ransomedheart.com/blogs/stasi/intentional-rest
It starts with this:
     Yesterday morning, John shared this story with me: When Dallas Willard was asked by a friend, "How do I best teach people about Jesus?" Willard thought, then replied, "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."

Ouch. Yes. In the words of my dear friend Ashley Elizabeth, "Please sir, may I have another."

Then, thumbing through an old copy of "Praying God's Word," by Beth Moore, (c) 2000, I read about "Overcoming Depression." It was somehow soothing to know that this famous woman of God and beloved teacher had walked through a season of depression. She describes in in that chapter. I can see that she was suffering from what we in my circle of friends call "Post-event let-down."

God reminded me that I had walked through a season of complete dependence on Him last year. During September of 2012, my son began having seizures. They quickly progressed into 60 seconds of limp muscles, followed by an hour of recovery time during which he would barely talk. The first line of pharmaceutical defense just made these seizures happen every two hours like clockwork. After two weeks of Spiritual and medical battle, the seizures were stopped and he eventually recovered fully.

Why did this happen? The best doctors in the Southeast looking at his MRI results and various scans were only able to say, "we're not sure why these happened."  I know why. I agreed to the calling to serve as the Rector for CVTD #21. Accepting the mantle of spiritual leader for this God-event completely took me out of the "base camp" placed me in the front lines of battle.

Here's another quote by John Eldgredge I have recently put on my computer's "desktop" as a daily reminder.

      This scene we’re living in is no sitcom; it’s a bloody battle. Do you know why there’s been such an assault” The enemy fears you. You are dangerous big-time. If you ever really got your heart back, lived from it with courage, you would be a huge problem to him. You would do a lot of damage …  on the side of good. Remember how valiant and effective God has been in the history of the world? You are a stem of that victorious stalk.

So, as I tip towards the edge of darkness, fighting to see light, to feel happiness, to keep wanting to be "my old self" who loves learning, and dancing in the rain, and catching fireflies, and singing loud, I'm reminded that God is the Hero of the Story, the setting is occupied territory, and my blessings are too many to count and new every morning.

AND, I must add- my wonderful husband, protector, provider, has been taking extra good care of me by always closing his laptop and waiting patiently while I try to verbally process how I'm feeling. He calls home, just to say hi. He offers to help with cooking, cleaning or schooling. Yay Mike! He's a HUGE blessing!

I said "yes" . . . to CVTD.

This Fall is an interesting chapter for my family.
I have been elected to be the Rector for the Women's CVTD #21.
I love that 21 is 3x7, not into cabalistic numerology, but its easier for me to remember that way.

The visual for this weekend is the Irish wedding ring symbol, the Claddagh.
The crown stands for loyalty, the heart for love, and the hands will stand for our service.
The Lord is calling us to worship, love, and serve Him with our whole hearts.
However, if our hearts are not whole to begin with, He wants to heal them, and make them whole.

"... if you listen to my commandments ... to love the Lord your God and serve Him with  your whole heart and your whole soul, ... He will give rain for your crops ... and grass for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied." ~Deut. 11:13-14 

I had started reading and working through John Edlrege's "Journey of Desire" (which is now republished under the title, "Desire") and the accompanying workbook. But then Christmas came around, then New Years... decorating, undecorating, gathering, shopping, cooking, eating.

Now I need to get back on a healthy diet of food and Bible reading and Eldredge reading.

In other news, MTM is asking me to seriously consider an "adventure" with him. He loved his cross country trip from CA to AL on the back of the BMW bike. He knows I have a thing for Ireland. SO, there may be a trip in our future... if it's God's will, and the money and child care all works out.

Waiting, Anticipating

My oldest daughter and I are waiting on the same thing; the return of our men.

She is counting the days, hours, minutes! To her, the waiting is awful! The moments she gets to spend on the phone with him only make her more depressed when the conversation is over. She is "eagerly anticipating" his return. In fact, she's made plans, booked a hotel, and reserved a car (mine) to actually drive the 8 hours to go get him and bring him back!

I'm also waiting for my man to come home. He's on a journey that many people dream about. He flew to California, bought a motorcycle, and is cruising across the country, seeing America, talking with Jesus. I don't know the day, or hour of his return. I text him, run to the phone when it rings in case it's him. I read his emails and blog posts over several times. I share his posts with friends and family. I am preparing our home for when he returns. Making sure it's clean, in order, stocked with food!

In my time with Jesus this morning (I can't call it "quiet time," because with my Buster, there IS NO quiet time) I thought about how I could tweak these things into an excellent teaching!

I don't know the time or date of my Jesus' return. I know he's coming, but not when. I prepare the home of my heart for him, every day. I tell my friends and family that he's coming. I want to be like the parable of the virgins who had oil in their lamp, ready when the day arrives.

Jesus is really looking forward to his arrival. He is making a place for us to stay, "booking a room at a 5 star" so to speak. He's got the car ready. His Father knows the time: day, hour, minute! They are both anticipating the reunion with the Bride!

That gives me chills!

o.k. more later- I have a house to clean and a Welcome Home party to prepare for!!!

Cat's Cradle

My daughter was out of town last week. I missed her most when I tried to do things, like band practice, and she wasn't around to babysit the 6 year old noise factory. But, I should have missed her more.

Mike's been gone on this road trip, seeing fantastic things: Yosemite, Death Valley, Vegas, Hoover Dam, The Hopi Rez, the Grand Canyon! And I've been at home, doing the same old same old. I've missed him. But I should miss him more.

God showed me today that I don't take care of my time well.

Sure, I need to take care of responsibilities; the house and family stuff, church stuff, Tres Dias stuff, kids' school stuff. And I need to have "me" time: tv, books, movies. But, I also need to make time for the really important things- which aren't really things, but people. I need to actually be with my family, and with my Jesus.

This is not a shocking new revelation. We all know this. But today, I was convicted. It's a little different. Today, God kind of snapped his fingers in my face and said, "child, listen. Do you hear what I'm saying? Your kids are going away to school in 5 weeks. Your husband may not always be around. Not only are you missing out on opportunities to have memories of them, but you're stealing memories of yourself from them."

I've been chewing on that most of the day. While waiting at the orthodontist office, the oldies station played, "Cat's Cradle." "When you coming home son? I don't know when, but we'll have a good time then." Ow!

My challenge for this week: make time to spend with people first (this includes both family, and Jesus). Then fill in the gaps with house work and the volunteer stuff. I may find I don't need as much "me time" if I use this planning routine. And I may not get bored or burned out as often either.

The Road Trip, Mike's Chapter 1

Follow the title link to Mike's blog where I've posted his first chapter of the saga. Mine tells what I saw happen. His tells what he is feeling.

You should hear him, LIVE!

Mike's Bike Trip Day 1 (My p.o.v.)

Hopefully, when MTM gets settled someplace for dinner tonight, he will pull out the (cheap) Toshiba (Yes, we agreed that he should leave the Mac-Baby at home.... I might be seen chilling in a Starbuck's with it to up my cool-factor) and he might send me an email which I will post to his blog, so we get the wandering poet's p.o.v. . . . but until then . . . (evil grin)

Today was - I don't know a good adjective - surreal? yeah, not quite real.

I got up and got out the door by 4 a.m. (pretty amazing right there. I'm NOT a morning person.)

He drove, so we made it to the Airport in record time. (read, nothing legal about it, baby)

You know how some people are just able to decide to do a thing, and they just do it, and everything kind of falls into place? My life is like that. I don't usually run into snags or pitfalls. I plan a road trip, and just hop in the car and drive there. My Mom and I drive up to her chemo treatments 3 hours away, all the time. Just get in and go. Turn around come home.

Mike's luck is NOT that kind of luck. In fact, it's the opposite.

I used to tease him about his "paranoia" over trips and things. Packing a survival kit for an 8 hour trip, really? It seemed like such overkill to me. He would never stand in the check out line with me at the grocery store. He said he would jinx it. What?

Yeah- he does.

A simple road trip for him is NEVER simple.

At the grocery store, he DOES jinx the line.

True story: once, after ringing up 3 items, he handed the cashier a $100, as he let go, in the split second before she grabbed it, the doors opened, the wind from outside blew in, and the bill flew gracefully onto the conveyor belt and got sucked under... yeah.

A day trip from Colorado Springs to Cripple Creek got us stuck in snow, in a 4WD Scout, with an infant... stuff like that.

So this morning, when he saw that his flight was scheduled to depart at 8 am (local airport time), he insisted on being there to check in almost 90 minutes early. Now, I've never checked in more that 30 minutes before the flight leaves. I hate having to hang around so long. I hate long goodbyes. But of course, he was right.

I dropped him and his stuff at the ticketing/baggage check area outside. He went in to check the bags. He wanted me to drive around, park the car, and come inside, in case his bag was too heavy and he had to remove some things. I'm thinking, I've seem some of the stuff people have taken on planes, it won't be too heavy. (riiiight)

By the time I circled the terminal, parked, put my little boy's shoes on him, and we walked to the ticket counter, Mike had made it to the agent. "Checking these bags through to Phoenix? Have you paid for two?"

Mike: "Yes, I've paid for two, to San Jose?"

Agent lady: "oh, that flight's cancelled. Didn't you get a phone call?"

Mike: "Nooooo, I got a text, 30 minutes ago, saying the flight was on time, as scheduled."

Agent: (checking the computer) "Well, yes, it was, 30 minutes ago, but it's cancelled now." (smiles)

Mike: "Sooooo, what? um . .. what now?" (remember, my p.o.v. here, He was panicking. )

Agent: "Would you like me to re-book you on another flight? There's one . . . here, there's one at 8:15, with Delta, it goes through Salt Lake City. Would that be alright?"

Mike: muttering "wish I had that page printed confirming my shuttle ride, should have, how can I, well, (to the agent) yes, 8:15 will be fine, thanks. Can you do that here? Now?"

Agent: smiling again, "Just a moment." (several moments pass. Many keystrokes, the tap-tapping of the keys rattling his nerves, constricting the blood flow to his brain.)

Me: "Come on Buster, lets go look over here."

My little guy and I amble around, very slowly. He is whispering to me because he is just waking up, and is a little nervous about the new place with all the strange people. And he's very cuddly, because he's nervous, and cold. We check out the shoe shine chairs, like black thrones, where, for $10 an man can be a king for 10 minutes, having a servant bowing before him.

Finally, Mike comes around the corner, behind us. He tells us he needs to go through the Food Court and on to the Delta counter. "Where's the Food Court," he asks. Not enough blood to his brain. He's scanning the area around us, I'm looking at "Houlihan's Grill" closed at 7am. I see "Atlanta Bread," "Starbuck's" and "Seattle's Best." Since we didn't have the Mac-Baby with us, he couldn't sense the Starbuck's, so I pointed the other way, towards the Atrium, and the "Wendy's- open 24/7". He asked permission to hurry on ahead. I smiled at him to go on.

Buster and I went to "Seattle's Best" and got a chocolate milk, and a plain coffee. He was amazed at the size of the cinnamon rolls. "Yeah," I said as he pointed, "Those are as big as your head!" He's 6, so of course, he copied me, loudly, "Yeah! that's as big as my HEAD!" Which the cashier heard. It made her snicker. :)

Sipping our drinks, we slowly made our way towards the Delta counter. It took us quite a while, due to the dinosaur. Yep, there's a dino fossil skeleton in the Atrium. We admired it, talked about the number of toes on the front legs, inspected the teeth and decided it was a carnivore. Then, admitting that, no, we shouldn't touch it, we decided to finally move on towards the Delta counter.

Have you SEEN the Delta counters? It's seriously next-gen.

They totally make the other whole terminal look like a lot of Hardee's employees with steno pads and ball point pens...

Anyway, we waited to see if we would have to take any of Dad's stuff back home with us. Which would be bad, because he only packed what he thought he would need. It turned out, the big bag was 5 pounds too heavy, but he transferred his spare boots to the carry on, and everything was cool.

After that, we went back to the other airline agent, trying to get money issues worked out. Buster and I took a picture of the fascinatingly creepy giant fire ants sculptures. We said our goodbyes.

Buster and I were back on the highway by 7 am (our time). And I realized, as I posted a quick Facebook status, that I had done all that, before I normally wake up! Actually, I would be back at home around the time I normally get out of bed. Crazy.

So- for Mike, we plan for the worst, and are pleasantly surprised if my luck ever wins out. As he put it, "that's the luck of the Irish for you."

Update: he texted me a while ago. He made it to San Jose, and Santa Cruz. I din't hear whether the duffle bag did too.

The Adventure Begins...

With packing!

And leaving the packing until midnight the night before your flight,

when you plan on getting up at 4 am,

yes-

that is our adventure.

And we are not organized and neat people, so we can't find half the things we want.

And we are totally unsure about so many things: weather, stopping places, will there be water? will there be gas? will the State Troopers be understanding about the expired plates?

Ah yes, her we go adventuring.... well, there HE goes. I'm staying behind to watch the mayhem left in his wake.

Mike's Bike Trip the Pre-quel

Hey Friends

Mike & I have both prayed about this trip. We know it's kind of crazy. Both to take a bike across the country, (in July) and to be spending money right now. But we both feel like he should go.

Go where? Fly to Santa Cruz, CA, pick up a (beautiful) BMW bike, and ride her back to AL. Yep. Between 8-10 states, depending on the route. Off the main hi-ways, no cell coverage. Old school.

Why?

Let me share a paragraph that sums up the idea:

The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it's God's way. All my life I have been changing. I changed from a baby to a child, from soft toys to play daggers. I changed into a teenager to drive a car, into a worker to spend some money. I will change into a husband to love a woman, into a father to love a child, change houses so we are near water, change again so we are near mountains, and again so we are near friends, keep changing with my wife, getting our love so it dies and gets born again and again, like a garden, fed by four seasons, a cycle of change. Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.

I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because the mind was made to figure things out, not read the same page recurrently.

~ Don Miller, from his author's preface to "Through Painted Deserts"

This book was given to me by my music friends (Ashley, Atlanta, and Katie, Tres Dias) the last time we served in T.D. together. But that's what it says. Don and his friend Paul traveled from Houston, TX to Oregon. They visited the Grand Canyon. They lived out of a VW camper van.

Thank you all for being so supportive of us during this. Mike has been living out a difficult couple of years, spiritually. This trip is also a spiritual journey for him to reconnect with God and hear His voice. So in your prayers for his safety, also ask God to speak to him clearly.

I thought you'd like to know some of the story from the CA side. It turns out, the bike is currently owned by a woman, who is very pregnant. She is about 5 weeks away from her due date. She put the bike out by the side of the road, several months ago. But no one was interested. Tina lowered the price, a few nibbles came around. She finally listed it on a bike buyers internet site. She began getting inquiries. One fellow said he would send his agent with a check. Tina was very happy to finally be selling the bike and getting some money for baby things. But when the agent arrived, she had a "bad feeling." She asked him to accompany her to the bank. At the bank, the check was proved to be fraudulent and the "agent" was escorted away. So, the poor mama-to-be was left holding the title to her bike. And she's moving.

Yep, turns out, she's moving to a different apartment, getting the baby's room ready, and the bike can't go to the new place. (Don't know why. Noise? she would have to buy a separate parking pass and then not use it after selling the bike?) Anyway, she needed to sell it, and needed to move on Friday. Mike has already bought a plane ticket to CA for Friday. So, whose prayers are being answered?

When Mike related his travel plans to her, Tina replied that she loves Yosemite and the Grand Canyon, and is so glad her Bike will get to visit there one more time before "her" adventure to "her" new home in the South.

I'll let you know what I find out when I hear from him. His phone he has now has a terrible battery, and there is very little coverage in the West once you get away from the Interstates.

Keep us in your prayers!! Thanks.

Season of Change

It's Summer.

Traditionally the time of change is in the Fall: starting a new school year, new lunch boxes, fresh stacks of paper, pencils, back-packs. We smell the crisp Fall leaves in the cooler air. The feeling of lethargy from the sultry summer begins to drop off.

But this Summer, we are experiencing change early.

Our Lead Pastor has officially left Alabama to settle his family at a church plant in Arkansas. We have a new pastor, who is just as amazing as a teacher and preacher. We have had a 90 day worship leader team, who stayed for a year and a half, finally hear from God that it's time for them to move on. We have some students hearing and heeding God's call on their lives to step into ministry leadership.

At home, MTM and I have finally (after 10 years) joined the governing board of the local Tres Dias chapter. We have finally, after home schooling for 12 years, decided to place our children in the hands of the local public school! (This brings me anxiety, but I will trust in God's omnipresence and omnipotence to keep and protect them both.) Also at home, I had reached a weight that was simply unacceptable. So I started a diet plan (hCG) and in the past 6 months, have lost 40 pounds. I'm almost to pre-baby weight from the last kid. Still 60 to go to make me happy.

So, do I like all this change? Not all, but I know I will like it. I will remind myself each day that, "This is the day the Lord has made. I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!"

Tweet Praise

O.K. Sorry for behind way behind the curve, but I JUST "got" this: "Twitter" tweets can be towdah praise. No, listen, a "shout out" or a "tweet" or a "Status update" is the most amazing place to just give God his glory!
"The Seven Hebrew Words for Worship" study at Watchman Ministries says this

This word(Towdah) is commonly found in connection with sacrifice-applying the
giving of thanks or praise as a sacrifice before reception or manifestation.
Thanking God for something that I don't have in the natural. Agreeing with
His Word - faith in His Word. This form of praise goes in operation just
because His Word is true.

Sa-weet! Or a Tweet can be Shebach- look:

SHABACH - shaw-bakh - to address in a loud tone, a loud adoration, a shout!
Proclaim with a loud voice, unashamed, the GLORY, TRIUMPH, POWER, MERCY, LOVE OF GOD. This word implies that testimony is praise. The phrase "shout unto the Lord" can be understood as the action of SHABACH. It is not just being loud. You
should have the attitude of putting your whole being into it, an attitude of
being totally uninhibited. Scripture: Psalm 117:1, 63:3-4

That's also from Watchman Ministries page.
Cool!
I know what I'm tweeting tomorrow!

Just Finished CVTD#15

Wow! We just completed our Chattahootchee Valley Tres Dias #15 (Sept. 24-27, 2009) and it was Awesome! God showed out a LOT.

We had several intense times of prayer, worship, communion with God. We took Communion as a Jewish Wedding, by signing a Ketubah, eating Challah, and taking a "Commitment cup." We saw "Cinderella" transform into a beautiful maiden, searching for, and finding her Prince Charming. We learned many things. It was a blessing and an honor to be able to participate.

Maybe I'll post more about it later. I doubt it though.

in other news

On other places on the web I have really been active.
Most days I check "Facebook" several times a day.
Most weeks I post to "LiveJournal" and read my flist.
Here, sorry, I have not been active. That means I have not had any serious thoughts for a while.

Top 5 Things for which I'm Thankful:
1.) Jesus' unconditional love and my salvation
2.) My family, esp. my fantastic, most wonderful husband!
3.) My freedom, religious, and otherwise
4.) My house, car and husband's job
5.) music; not any particular type, just the fact that God gave us the ability to create and enjoy music.

More Study on the Gifts of the Spirit

Here will be notes on Spirit Study, soon.
First will be notes on His Role and Work (Acts 1:4-5), and Why God sent Him.
Then will be some stuff on Baptism of H.S. including tongues (1 Cor. 14:2-22), and finally searching for truth on the whole "slain in the spirit" thing.

Indian religious twist led to "Zero", 0 led to Atheism

I read recently that the introduction of the concept and numeral "zero" led to the philosophy of atheism. Prior to the usage of 0 in mathematics, the "starting point" of numbers was "1". This was in line with many religious beliefs that there is One beginning force, God, or Unity. I'll have to post back again when I read through the essay enough times to truly understand the implications of "zero" on our world view. But it's interesting.

Another essay in this same book, "Sacred Geometry" (can't recall the author) posits that all the "stuff" that we encounter is vibrations. Sound waves are interpreted by our ears, light waves (or particles behaving as waves... whichever) are interpreted by our eyes, etc. Atomic particles are vibrating. Even the "empty space" between planets is now thought to be some stuff that is slightly vibrating. And the spiral patterns of the galaxies are the residual shape of the pattern created by a sonic boom. There was some primal original beginning of the vibrations, as if the stars themselves were spoken into existance. :) Another thing that I want to read more about.

Today, when I was waxing poetic about these two subjects, one of my math students asked me, "Why do you like math so much?" How do you answer that? I stared at her for a moment, then replied that I just think it's so cool that math is actually in everything: architecture, astronomy, biology, chemistry, computers, design, economics, electronics, engineering, food science, Graphic art, music, quilting, sculpture, physics (WAY cool), radio technology, satelite usage. But I think it's really cool that the proportions of pi, phi, and the Fibonacci sequence are mathematical forms that are found so often in the natural world, it can't be an "accident." So, I guess that make me quite the geek. (I actually have 2 different books entitled "Sacred Geometry" and one called "Mathematics: Is God Silent," that I read for personal enrichment and enjoyment.) Yikes! But I also let my teenager dye her hair purple, repeatedly! And have been contemplating tatoos (even though Oropher disapproves). So, maybe I'm more balanced than the "White and Nerdy" guy.

Gamer Devo. Rough Draft

I’ve been having fun with video games this week. It’s Fall Break, and although I have some work to catch up on, both house work and school work, I’ve allowed Raikana and I to play a lot. Not being a fanatic gamer, it’s taken me a while to work through one or two games. I confess, I prefer kid “smash and grab” games. “Jak & Daxter,” and now “Ratchet & Clank” are my favorites. When I recently got stuck in R&C I began a new game of “Van Helsing.” Now, I can notice some standard layouts in gaming that I didn’t notice when I was a novice. I will preface this next part with “Usually.” I realize there may be deviations, and as you can see, my game knowledge is very limited. But, in the cases I have seen, the “money” and "health" icons lead you to the place the game wants you to go next. If the game gives you a new weapon, you will have an “easy” enemy on which to use it just around the corner. You have to fight some low level baddies to gain proficiency and “health” so you can get ready to fight the “boss.” If you want to stay safe and comfortable and just gain “money” you can stay in the sections you have been in before, re-fighting low level baddies. But you aren’t fulfilling the purpose of the character in the game. Stick with me now. Our Christian life is like this.

When you start in your Christian life, God gives you all these wonderful feelings of freedom, love, spiritual power and closeness with Him. These are like the “money” or “health” icons in the beginning of a game, getting you to move in deeper to the next area.

When you begin to pray, and see results, you want to pray more and do more. You want to share the gospel and are not ashamed. Then, you run across temptation, or someone who doesn’t respond well, or outright abuse, or even a delayed answer to your prayers. Man, this “game” just got harder. What do you do? You can go back to where it’s safe: sitting in church, biding your peace at work, buying your groceries in silence. Or you can get tough, press on, and move forward. In game terms, you can fight back, learn new tricks, upgrade your weapons through use. God gives you both the weapons and the training for the next spiritual battle. It’s up to us to use them.

When I first started “Van Helsing” I got stuck right away. I couldn’t even get into the town I was supposed to go to. I didn’t know you have to push the “open doors/pick up items” button. Sometimes, we get stuck in our Christian life because we don’t know that we can “seek, ask, and knock.” At some points in a game, you need to “knock” or “open.” But some doors require double knocks, or even a shotgun blast to get through. In my life, I’ve run up against closed doors. I knew about the “seek, ask, and knock.” But I had to learn the Greek meaning of the words: keep on seeking, keep on asking, keep on knocking.

Recently I’ve been reading a lot of fiction, playing a lot of games, and busying myself in housework and schoolwork. These are good things. But, they were “areas” of the “game” I had visited before. I have been avoiding the next step. Unfortunately, as many have lamented, there is no “Pause” button on real life. You kids do not wait around for you to get on with training and being their good example. Opportunities to pray or share the gospel are there only a short time. If you miss them, they are soon gone. In a game, you can often back track to pick up those missed items. Here in Real Life, kids grow up, people move on, and moments slip away.

Our pastor said, in his review of his previous message that we are “here” now. Doing what we did to get “here” from “last there” will only keep us “here.” That won’t get us to the next “there.” He said, “they are good things that you’re doing. They may have been vitally important at the time. But the time will come when you have to put those good things aside, and go where God leads you next.”

So, my questions to ponder in my heart are, what good things was I doing to get to where I am now? What does God want me to keep doing? And what do I need to let go, in order to pick up the next thing? (Another gaming reference: “I can’t carry that. I’m carrying too much already.” You might have heard that from the games I call “slash-grab and go shopping” games.)

Musings on Psalm 24

Psalm 24
A Psalm of David.

The earth is the LORDS (Yehovah) and the fullness thereof; the world and all they that dwell therein.
For He hath founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the floods.
Who shall ascend unto the hill of the LORD (Yehovah)? Or who shall stand in his holy place?
He that has clean hands, and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.
He shall receive blessing from the LORD (Yehovah) and righteousness from the God (Elohim) of his salvation (yeshah).

Hands
Heart
Soul
Word

all of these must be pure and blameless to come before God.

I did a lot of dictionary looking up of the words in that verse. It helped some.

If your Hands, Heart, Soul and Word are pure, you will receive righteousness from God, who saves.
But it seems that if we could have pure hearts, clean hands, dedicated souls, and true words on our own, then we wouldn’t need God’s righteousness applied to us. Hmmm.

Romans 3 seems to speak directly to this.

We know “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,” (Rom. 3:23) so we can’t have clean hands, heart, soul and word by ourselves.

But now (after Jesus) apart form the Law (doing it on our own) the righteousness of God has been shown (in the life of Jesus), even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus for all who believe (Rom. 3:22). All who believe have been justified (made right before God) as a gift by God’s grace, through the redemption in Jesus, (Rom. 3:24). Jesus paid the price in his own blood. This demonstrated God’s righteousness, because in His great patience, He passed over all the sins we did before, (Rom. 3:25-26).

The way I see it: (I like things nice and linear, If A then B, if B then C, etc.)

• We all were born into sin

• Jesus’ blood paid for our sins

• We believe, put our faith in, Jesus

• God looks at the righteousness of Christ instead of our own “goodness”

• God gives us salvation- lets us into heaven

Something like that. In Psalm 24 it’s not that straightforward. But when I read it aloud, and actually say Yehovah and Adonai, I feel very connected with His Spirit, very worshipful.

Be Transformed

After reading “C Grace”s thoughts on Romans 12:2, it seemed worthwhile to meditate on that scripture myself. Unfortunately, my mind is not so organized when left on its own. In order to have meaningful meditation I really need to look things up, and write things down. (Maybe it's more like research, but that's what I do.) Here are some notes I’ve taken on Romans 12:2.

Rom 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

The first part of the verse says, “Be not conformed to this world. . .” It seems like this means, “don’t be molded to its image.” Part of that is when we put on an act, or worse, keep acting like our old self. After salvation, we became children of God, and his soldiers. When we act in a way other than that we are conforming to the world. And when you act a part long enough, eventually, you start believing it.

The next part of the verse says, “But be Transformed. . .” Luckily, it also says how to do this, “by the renewing of your mind. . .” When I searched the Bible further to get some examples of renewing the mind, I found the mother-lode in Ephesians 4. Here are the “suggestions” included in that chapter, paraphrased by me.

1. “Lay aside the old self, and put on the new self” Eph 4: 22-24.
2. In your anger, don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Eph. 4:26 (even if you can’t make it up with the person or situation you are angry with, you can settle it in your mind by giving the situation over to God.)
3. Don’t steal, but work for what you get. Eph. 4:28.
4. Don’t talk trash, but use words that give grace to those who hear. Eph. 4:29.
5. Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit. Eph 4:30 (Imagine all the ways we can do that!)
6. Set aside all bitterness, wrath, anger, slander and malice. (see second point) Eph. 4:31.
7. Be kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving. Eph. 4:32

Why do you Transform yourself by renewing your mind in these ways? The next part of the verse says, “So you may prove (know) what the will of God is. . .” Again, I looked up verses dealing with the will of God. What is the will of God?

1. 2Co 7:10 For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation. . .
2. 1Th 4:3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification. . .
3. 1Pe 2:15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.
4. Heb 10:36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.
5. 1Jo 2:17 The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

It seems that the will of God is for us to be sorry for our sins, which produces repentance, which in turn leads to salvation. God also wants our sanctification. (Another topic of discussion.) He wants our right actions to silence the foolish. He wants us to do his will, so we may receive what was promised, eternal and abundant life.

Romans 12:2 continues by stating that the will of God is good, acceptable, perfect. Again, I looked up these words to help me get a grip on them.

Fist is “Good.” Thayer defines this as useful, pleasant, agreeable, happy, excellent, distinguished, upright, honorable. An example of “good” used elsewhere is in Matt 12:35 “The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good…”

Next is “Acceptable,” described by Thayer as being well pleasing. Eph. 5:10 tells us that we should be “trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.”

The third aspect of God’s will is “Perfect.” Again, I used Thayer’s definition of “complete, brought to an end, finished, consummate human integrity and virtue.” An example of this in scripture is James 1:17 “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. “

So, during my reading, searching, and thinking, I’ve decided that I need to read all of Ephesians 4 and 5, maybe as often as each day for a while. The Treasury of Scriptural Knowledge gives this Overview to Ephesians 5:

Eph_5:1, After general exhortations to love; Eph_5:3, to flee fornication; Eph_5:4, and all uncleanness; Eph_5:7, not to converse with the wicked; Eph_5:15, to walk warily; Eph_5:18, and to be filled with the Spirit; Eph_5:22, he descends to the particular duties, how wives ought to obey their husbands; Eph_5:25, and husbands ought to love their wives, Eph_5:32. even as Christ does his church.

This seems a good place to start “trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.”

Holy Spirit

Last night in our Bible Study, my husband, MTM asked us to comment on the Holy Spirit. We were reading the following scripture, a very nice bit about the Trinity.

13 By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.
14 We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.
15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. -1 John 4: 13-15

I think he meant to focus on the outward "proof" that we are 'of God' because a.) we testify that Jesus is the Son of God, b.) we testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Savior, and c.) His Holy Spirit is in us. So we looked at the "Fruit of the Spirit" Gal. 5:22 ff. We also looked at other aspects of the Spirit of God:

• John 14: 16-17, the Helper, and Spirit of Truth.
• John 14:26, the Helper who will teach all things.
• John 16:13, the Spirit who guides.

A young couple who have just joined us were concerned about our views on the subject of "baptism of the Holy Spirit." It's understandable, since this is a topic of much debate in many churches. They had left a church where "Spirit baptism" was quietly used as a means to seperate leaders from other members.
Our take on it is this: it's in the Bible. Acts 10:44-47 shows the Gentiles to whom Peter was preaching have the gifts of the Holy Spirit "poured out on them." So, I think, when a person accepts Christ as their Savior, they receive the Holy Spirit. At times, they receive the Gifts of the Spirit at the same time. However, this wasn't the case for me, or people in my church. You were saved, and had confidence of that salvation. But there were no manfestations of Spiritual Gifts such as in Acts 10. Years later, after my initial conversion as a child, I asked God for more of Him, for the Gifts of the Spirit to manefest in my life. About 24 hours of praying later, I was overcome by the Spirit of God during worship. I had a CD playing ("Heart of Worship") and was singing, when I had to start praying. It felt like a pressure inside, and tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over my cheeks. For many minutes, the length of a song, I poured out prayer in some other language. It was very intense and emotional, which was really strange, because I wasn't feeling either before. I mean, I was just doing the household chores, when *BAMM* it overcame me.
Now, in my private prayers, I often find myself speaking like this. We have had experiences with wild church services where everyone was going :lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal all at the same time. And we've had people pray over us, one at a time, in quiet tones of reverance, and give an interpretation imediately. I can only say, the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of God, and He gave gifts to the early church folks, and He can still give those gifts today.